A Startling New Discovery

Just the other day, I happened upon an amazing article about a new manuscript find. Of all things that could have been unearthed, what was brought to light but a set of instructions from Paul, to an antecedent of Marcion! What this means, essentially, is that Paul, under the guise of being “apostle to the Gentiles”, was a secret destroyer! What he did, you see, is to discredit the Judaizers – anathematized them, in fact, and even insulted them in one of his letters (in a quite vulgar way). Then, he proceeded to undercut their growing influence with the leaders in Jerusalem, to boot! Essentially, the Judaizers were right! You really do need to circumcise, as well as believe in Jesus! Who knew?

So, in light of this new discovery, I’d like to posit Judainity, as an alternative to Paul’s dastardly takeover plot. Basically, it’s everything Christianity is – exactly, except for one thing – adding circumcision to the Gospel proclamation. I mean, it’s logically possible – and you can’t fault me for advancing it as such, even though it’s anathematized, right? Certainly not *for* advancing a hypothetical of something! Besides, if it’s true, it’s that *Christianity* stuff that’s wrong, not Judainity. And before you ask, no, I don’t have any photocopies of the manuscripts. So just treat this as a hypothetical. Like an apologetic mirror. It can account for everything Christianity can – and therefore it’s an obvious counter for Christianity as the account for all things whatsoever… right?

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