Were you? I was born selfish, myself. Ask my mother! It was always about me, me, me. I still struggle with pride, too. Thankfully, however, I was washed, I was sanctified, and I was justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
There’s a problem with this objection, and it may be a problem for you, specifically, in one of a couple ways. First, it could be your assertion that this is a genetic determination. Second, it could be your assertion that this is more of an environmental determination. Roughly, nature or nurture.
In the first case, please realize that our first response is going to be “Okay, and why do you think this is true?” In our experience, many people claim that “science has proven” something when they have no basis for making that claim. So, let’s hear it.
In the second case, you already have to know that you have to demonstrate this. It isn’t as simplistic an argument as the first tends to be. Further, you also have to know that your methodology for arriving at your conclusion is under just as much examination as your conclusion is.
Let’s think through, though, what you’re responding to. Remember, you are speaking to Reformed Christians here. We are the folks who think 17th century confessions are excellent, refer more to the writings of people who have been dead for generations than to those of modern, still-living writers. Using phrases like “the wrong side of history” seem a bit pretentious to those of us who not only like history, but are steeped in it on a daily basis.
Our objection, primarily, to your contention is that even if it were true, so what? Remember, homosexuality is listed as one of a whole laundry list of sins, in multiple places, and can hardly be pointed out as an exception, whatever Matthew Vines or Justin Lee has told you. If you were “born a sinner” – weren’t we all? The Scriptural reply to this is, of course, “and such were some of you”. We know that we all have individual predilections to particular sinful behaviors! Our return question, at this point, will be “What makes this any different?” “Self-identifying” as homosexual, transgender, or what have you isn’t anything new, when you think about it. People have always tried to consider their own failings generously, or even positively. In fact, there have always been thieves, adulterers, fornicators, liars, and the like who consider their own behaviors virtues, have there not? So, what makes your “besetting sin”, so to speak, the exception, and not a proof of the rule?
We don’t think you were “born gay”. We think you were born a sinner – just like us. We think that God redeems sinners from their sin – just like He did for us. Your “self-identification” is just another symptom of the underlying problem. In a fallen world, sin has ramifications at all levels of human behavior and society. We have no problem being counter-cultural. Neither did you, when the culture was not “on your side”. The difference is, we as Christians are called to be like Christ – and Christ demands that we tell the truth as he has set it down for us. That means that we must call you to repent, as we ourselves repent of our sins. Be washed, be sanctified, be justified. “Be gay” is not a compatible option. We cannot affirm that, and we won’t, no matter who else does.